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Big difference between ethical non-monogamy & cheating, just like there is between accurate reporting & total ignorance 😤 https://t.co/8ma0252T3A— The Aussie Swingers (@The Aussie Swing) December 17, 2016Swingers are people who have an open sexual relationship but are usually committed to a partner.People in these types of relationships are polyamorous but only have sex within the same set group of people.That means that if four people are in a polyfidelity relationship, they are allowed to sleep with each other, but no one else outside their foursome. Then there’s “polyaffectivity,” which “emphasizes the emotional connection among people who are not lovers but share a lover in common,” says Sheff, who made up the term.Sheff describes the most common polyaffective relationship dynamic as “a woman with two male partners who are emotionally close but not lovers.” It’s hard to imagine two dudes who share the same woman being friendly to each other but I guess it’s possible.The Tumblr page Learning to be Poly uses a comic to explain the reality for many people in polyamorous relationships.They're not being selfish, they're being realistic about their needs in a relationship.
Let’s assume you’ve had a friend “come out” as polyamorous to you – what do you say? Your friend has come to you with something in trust, and that’s a big deal. Not everyone should be polyamorous – for some people it’s totally unworkable, and you don’t need to feel bad about that.
You should always talk things out in advance, because if this is all going to end in disaster for one or more of you, it'll probably be obvious from that first conversation.
Make sure you're all compatible and equally enthusiastic.
The comic, created by Danielle of Girls with Slingshots, shows that Jaime is upset that Keith appears to be not available to date because he has a girlfriend who is presumably not polyamorous.
The friend she's speaking to calls her "selfish" for wanting to date multiple people at the same time.
However Jaime responds that it is less selfish to date multiple people than to "have one lover and expect them to fulfill you in every way.""Jamie’s reply is perfect, because it shows the argument doesn’t end despite someone having played the selfish 'trump card'."If Jamie was selfish, she’d be chasing Keith despite his girlfriend."If Jamie was selfish, she’d be angry at the girlfriend for “stealing” Keith."If Jamie was selfish, she wouldn’t be stepping back from pursuing Keith."If Jamie was selfish, she’d keep pushing for what she wanted, no matter what anyone else wanted."Ethical non-monogamy is not selfish."The term ethical non-monogamy refers to types of relationships where all parties involved have consented to a relationship with more than two people involved.